What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
