we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize