It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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