Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
