Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize