We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
