I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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