Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
