Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
