That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There r osticjed everywhere
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize