what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
