wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
