Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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