Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
