I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
