Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
