I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
