they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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