The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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