She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
