your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
