actually, I'm a sock model
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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