i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize