My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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