im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
