no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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