kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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