Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize