remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
