oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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