He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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