Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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