Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
