dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just puked most of my soul out..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
