We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
