she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
