I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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