you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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