Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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