sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
