he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
