Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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