Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
