Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
