just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
