Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
