I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So much rum. So many feels.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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