Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
