I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
