Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
