he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
false alarm. still invincible.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
