I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
