You really coming over, don't trick.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
