Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
