his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
