we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
