Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
did you just send me my own nude
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
