I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
