I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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