My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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