guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
