My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
