His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
