I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
